No Parents! is a Brandon Rogers skit, uploaded on May 2nd, 2016. The story follows 2 boys without parental supervision.
Brandon portrays a Hispanic boy named Sebastian. Home alone for tonight, he invites his neighbor and friend, Ignacio, who's in his room drawing. Ignacio is portrayed by Gabriel Gonzalez. Ignacio finds it crazy, to which Sebastian doesn't understand, until he finds it awesome and joins. Entering the house, Sebastian shows Ignacio a giant red Crayola of his.
While bouncing around, the two argue over who's the father and mother for a game. Sebastian and Ignacio use Sebastian's father's sex toys to fight with, unaware of their actual purpose. They play with their own feces, Sebastian creating a star blaster. Ignacio's feces contain blood and he wants a doctor. They snack beneath a blanket, arguing over where exactly women give birth. In a doorway, Sebastian explains his penis grows whenever he sees their classmate, Samantha. In the kitchen, Ignacio considers drinking alcohol, but Sebastian is reluctant due to their age. Playing astronauts, Sebastian wears an astronaut suit. He pretends the oxygen is transforming his penis into an alien hand, unzipping his suit and waving one of the sex toys from earlier. Ignacio punches him in the stomach, making Sebastian fall down and vomit in his helmet.
The boys notice 2 masked men in hoods outside. Sebastian pops a pimple on Ignacio's face. It spurts blood onto Sebastian's face & he suggests Ignacio eats more iron. Checking outside again, 1 of the men has disappeared. They discuss watching pornography before the missing man breaks inside through a window behind Sebastian. Sebastian screams & they run, saying he's going to make another star blaster. The second man has also broken in. They hide in a closet, Ignacio asking Sebastian for a star blaster. The intruders find the boys, one opening the closet. They kill both with a sex toy.
Wondering what to do with the bodies, Sebastian claims to know where his father's spare car keys are. He smashes a vase from a shelf, instead revealing what appears to be human ashes. He smashes a second one & finds the key. Tossing the bodies in the trunk. Sebastian mentions where he spotted a duck on the driveway the other day. They drive around jovially before crashing the car & regretting it. Drenching it in gasoline, Sebastian finds their actions unbelievable. Ignacio believes they can't be blamed for the murders as they're too young. Vowing "no turning back," they get out lighters & set the car ablaze off screen.
Returning to the house, Sebastian bids Ignacio farewell as he leaves. As the credits roll, the car is seen burning through the day.
- During the vase smashing scene, Sebastian lacks his accent.
- As with his previous skits, No Parents! references other characters within Brandon's universe of characters.